Reflections on life and faith

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Reflections on life and faith

Mr Harry Burggraaf

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11)

I am both amused and troubled by the way that some parents perform at their children’s sporting events. At a soccer match I watched some time ago a rather smallish player was obviously trying really hard to outrun his opponent, who was far taller and faster, for the ball. In fact the little chap was running so hard that his face was turning bright red, he puffed and panted as if he was about to expire. His entire body seemed to be exerting itself to the absolute limit. Then from the sidelines came a loud voice. “Run David, run faster... come on David, don’t let him get away with it, run faster.” There was Dad yelling at the top of his lungs, urging his son on.

In just a glimpse I could see the look of helplessness on David’s face. ‘Run faster? Run faster? What do you think I am? I’m doing my best. If I run any faster I’ll burst.’
Miraculously the boy managed to get to the ball and take it away from the larger lad. He stumbled towards the goal, obviously exhausted and with little control of the ball. “Shoot David, shoot now, don’t wait, shoot man”, shouted the raucous voice beside me. With players crowding in from two sides and hardly in charge of the ball it was difficult to see how David could even focus on the goal, let alone shoot. It was all he could do to stop himself from falling headlong into the dirt. “Shoot now David, shoot!”

We’ve all experienced the well meaning but discouraging and futile ‘paternal’ voices. I attend a seminar on time management and stress, hungry for some new insights and encouragement and what does the seminar leader in effect say? RUN FASTER!
I attend church on Sunday, weary from a week of demands and large and little failures and what do I hear the pastor say in the course of all the kindly words and exhortations? RUN FASTER!
I go to a course on parenting teenagers, hoping for some clues on how to negotiate the turbulent waters of the adolescent years, and what is the message of the enthusiastic speaker? RUN FASTER!
I participate in a curriculum conference, eager to hear the latest, easiest way to improve student learning, and what do I hear? Try harder, do better, improve your game, RUN FASTER!
I read the latest self-help book on improving my self esteem, or health, or marriage, or study techniques and it all boils down to RUN FASTER!

It’s ironic that the result of many conferences, retreats, sermons, books and seminars is not to make us feel better but to actually make us feel worse. My very attendance at the event is a public confession that I need help. The speaker’s apparent confidence and poise announces to everyone that he has the answers. And when they give their scintillating talks with side splitting anecdotes and beautiful overheads and fascinating stories of victory and success it only drives the nails in harder. How stupid and inadequate that I couldn’t, on my own, discover the ‘simple’ and ‘easy’ solutions that were suggested by the speaker. What is worse, when I try the ‘simple’ steps and ‘easy’ plans they don’t seem to work for me. I must be a poor parent, an inadequate teacher, a dumb student, a weak Christian.

Of course I exaggerate. Advice is often useful. There is a place for seminars and sermons, reading and retreats. There is occasion for challenging people to do their utmost and their best. But perhaps our ‘yelling’ could be a little more in the direction of, “Relax David, you are doing great, you’re trying your best and that is commendable. You may have stumbled at the goals but I admire your grit and tenacity. Your effort against a stronger opponent is heroic. Three cheers to you!”

We ought to proclaim a moratorium on too much advice giving and celebrate each person’s efforts, no matter how small or insignificant.

Our culture, and often, alas, our Christian culture, bombards us with our inadequacies. We are told in a million ways that we are too ugly, too big, too ignorant, too inefficient, too underdeveloped, too sexually inadequate, too incompetent, too uncool, too unspiritual, too apathetic, too ungiving.

Jesus invited the weary and the burdened, those struggling with the load of parenting, partnering, working, studying, teaching, relating, leading, following, believing, caring, doubting, serving, suffering, forgiving, and just the sheer demands of the everyday business of life, to rest. To take his yoke, in effect, means to team with him, to be in the harness with him so that he actually carries the load, and to learn the celebratory rhythms of life from him.

The Bible says that those who follow Jesus, who claim to be disciples, will be known by their love for one another. Surely this means that our discipleship will be recognised by our shocking habit of encouragement, building up, affirming and celebrating one another; a habit which runs counter to the institutions and practices of a society in which we are criticized, evaluated, pressurised and forced to compete and perform. We will encourage and support each other, even in our failures.

I am generally running as fast as I can. I don’t want to be told to run faster. I need to hear someone gently say “Are you tired? Worn out? Burnt out? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11, The Message)

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